Despicable Me

We have established I need to lose weight. After gaining 17 pounds in four months and setting an all-time heaviest weight record my belly has the shape of an NFL offensive lineman.

Pants stretched to their limit, buttons popping off, wearing sweaters because it’s too hard to tuck a shirt in, running tights I can barely pull over my legs, I think it’s time to get serious.

My diet plan is all mental. Who needs Atkins, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers or Hydroxycut? Not me!

It’s simple, I believe I will lose weight so it will happen. Last week was a blip in the scale, going from 186.6 to 188, then 189 wasn’t really my plan. This morning though, I was back to 186.6, right on target, well kind of on target. I have ten steps to losing ten pounds by the end of February.

1.       While bulking up I would eat at least three cookies with my lunch and three-four more after dinner. Around Christmas time I may have snuck in a couple of more for an afternoon snack. Now I eat maybe three a day. Calories saved – around 1500 per week.

2.       When working I got lazy and sat in my office during lunch eating, doing the crossword puzzle and surfing the World Wide Web. Last Friday I ran three miles on the treadmill in the MCC gym, otherwise I walk for twenty minutes. Calories saved/burned, another 500+ per week?

3.       Tossed salads. These can get boring to eat every day. I don’t care what you put in them, it’s still green weeds we tell ourselves are good for us. But I have upped my salad eating, including one or two lunches a week. Calories saved – 200 per week (instead of my PB sandwich).

4.       I couldn’t exercise, other than physical therapy on my shoulder and taking slow walks around the block, for about a month after my surgery. I did some lower body weightlifting and my left arm (which now looks like Popeye compared to my shriveled up right bicep), but that obviously didn’t make up for my gluttonous food habits. Now I can run 3-4x per week for 2-5 miles and bike indoors 2-3x for 30-50 minutes. Calories burned – 2,000.

 

5.     Alcohol. Last semester was one of my most difficult ever at work, very stressful for a variety of reasons. I would have one or two drinks every night, not the right strategy to deal with the stress, but it’s what I did. Now I’m down to two nights of one-two drinks. Calories saved, 500+.

6.       Drinking water. I’ve always kept a twenty-ounce refillable bottle with me at work. Sometimes I finished it, sometimes not. Now I’m going to concentrate on having the bottle empty by the end of my work day. Fortunately one of the best things about working at MCC is the plethora of bathrooms.

7.       Cheese and crackers. When I’m preparing another gourmet dinner for Jan (like tuna casserole or BLT sandwiches) I used to have a few slices of spicy cheese with crackers while also drinking my first Southern Comfort. No more. Calories saved – 400+ per week.

8.       Moving from my desk. Simple, get up every half hour or so and walk around for five minutes, stretch my legs, save my shoulder and burn a couple more calories. 500+ per week.

9.       My pickup truck. Jan and I can fit her car and my truck in the garage, which I think is good. But it can be a tight squeeze getting around the car door mirror to the truck door. Maybe if my gut isn’t poking out so far getting into the truck will be easier?

10.   The mirror. Looking at my belly is despicable.

 I should probably take a before and after photo, but not for sharing publicly, no one needs to see that!