When the Wife is Away

What activities should a man do while his wife is off visiting children in another state for a few days?
If you watch television he might be going to the local bar, eating sloppy meaty meals from a take-out restaurant, wearing the same undershirt everyday and/or drinking beer from a can while sitting on the back porch in his underwear and belching loudly.

Now if that same man has the initials MW, what do you think he is doing?

1. Babysitting three dogs, only one of which is his?
2. Watching Yankee rerun baseball games because he lost the remote control?
3. Counting his nightly nip of Scotch as a vegetable serving?
4. Sending text messages to random numbers on his phone?
5. Running twice a day to fill up his time since Eileen isn't there to tell him what else to do?
6. Using the same dishes for breakfast and dinner so he doesn't have to wash them? (all the food mixes together eventually anyhow, right?)
7. Wearing two different colored socks on two consecutive days, not realizing if he had switched them the colors would have matched?
8. Driving a different Subaru each day so he doesn't have to get gasoline?
9. Still sleeping on "his" side of the bed (with two dogs next to him and one at his feet)?
10. Setting his chronograph to count down to when to pick up Eileen from the airport, his smile getting bigger with every second that passes?