1. What a beautiful day for a run!
2. This sucks.
3. Well, five miles is only two and half miles each way, which is basically two miles each way, so I’m really only running four miles. That’s not too far.
4. It’s starting to feel far.
5. How long have I been running? A year? (MW says this all the time).
6. SIX MINUTES?!
7. I can barely remember what my life was like before I started this run.
8. OK, concentrate. There are still four-plus miles to go.
9. But who counts the first and last mile? This is pretty much an easy three miler.
10. Oh, shoot! A fellow runner! Should I wave? I’m totally gonna wave.
11. OK, they didn’t wave back. Never doing that again.
12. Just keep running, no one saw, I hope.
13. Man, I think I’m hitting that “second wind” thing my gym coach was talking about.
14. Wait, never mind. I’ve been running down a decline.
15. If I leap to avoid dog shit, does that make me a CrossFit athlete?
16. What the heck is CrossFit anyway?
17. Mental reminder: Google CrossFit when I get home.
18. If I ever get home.
19. OK, I must be halfway done by now.
20. What?! Only two miles in?
21. Alright, stay focused…. What am I going to eat when I get home?
22. I’m running five miles so I should probably eat five slices of pizza. (this is Jan!)
23. I should probably get a side salad too.
24. ….Screw the salad, I can eat more pizza.
25. Man, what are these people doing in front of me? Walking?!
26. Is this a contest to see who the worst at walking is? Because you are both champions in my heart.
27. Maybe if I pound my feet on the ground they’ll hear me coming and let me pass.
28. Oh, God. They didn’t turn around and now I’m right behind them. They’re going to think they’re getting mugged by the world’s sweatiest criminal. (this is me)
29. You know what? Now seems like a good time to run in the street.
30. * Jumps off curb * Parkour!
31. Hey, hey, hey please don’t hit me with your car!
32. Pedestrian pedestrianizing over here let me cross.
33. Thank you, Mr. Blue Honda. I’m trying to smile at you but it probably looks like I’m having a stroke.
34. Actually, I wonder what I look like right now.
35. * Checks out reflection in shop window * Yeesh.
36. Is that what I look like when I run? What am I, a newborn deer with a drinking problem?
37. Whatever, I must be almost done by now.
38. Heck yes. Three miles down, two to go. It’s all downhill from here.
39. Except for that very real uphill in front of me. Damn it.
40. Wait, is that… Is that…
41. A DOG!
42. The owner says the classic line, “Don’t worry, he won’t bite”.
43. …As the dog is nipping my ankles.
44. Isn’t there a leash law in this town?
45. “Come back Snuffy”.
46. “Hey, you, runner, stop, I want my dog back you bastard.”
47. Finally a squirrel shows up. Dog takes off, owner still in pursuit,that only took half a mile.
48. Enough of interval running, must get heart rate back down.
49. Honestly, I don’t even like running.
50. Why do I even run?
51. Why does anyone even run?
52. Why are we even alive?
53. OK, let’s not go down that road.
54. Focus. Focus on that sweet, delicious pizza waiting at the finish line, calling your name with its cheesy breath.
55. Wait, less than one mile to go? I am KILLING this run.
56. I AM THE SWIFTEST GOD OF ALL TWO-LEGGED CREATURES.
57. YES, including ostriches.
58. Honestly, I should sign up for another marathon.
59. It’s only 26 miles, that’s not much more than today’s run.
60. That’s just 13 miles each way, which is practically 10, and 10 is twice five, and I can run five miles EASY.
61. That’s it, I’m doing it. Twenty-six miles.
62. 26 miles, a marathon…wait, a television marathon…The Big Bang marathon.
63. On second thought, I’ll probably just binge-watch every episode of The Big Bang. That takes a lot of dedication and I will be winded from laughing so hard.
64. But I could probably do a marathon IF I wanted.
65. OK, almost home. Should I shower first and order pizza or order pizza and shower before it shows up?
66. Yep, definitely ordering first. I learned that from past experience.
67. Oh, no. Oh god no. Another runner. Should I wave?
68. No, be strong! Do not get burned again.
69. OMG, SHE waved first! Hello! Yes! We are both runners! Look at us run!
70. I guess running’s not so bad.
(adapted from BuzzFeed Sports)
2. This sucks.
3. Well, five miles is only two and half miles each way, which is basically two miles each way, so I’m really only running four miles. That’s not too far.
4. It’s starting to feel far.
5. How long have I been running? A year? (MW says this all the time).
6. SIX MINUTES?!
7. I can barely remember what my life was like before I started this run.
8. OK, concentrate. There are still four-plus miles to go.
9. But who counts the first and last mile? This is pretty much an easy three miler.
10. Oh, shoot! A fellow runner! Should I wave? I’m totally gonna wave.
11. OK, they didn’t wave back. Never doing that again.
12. Just keep running, no one saw, I hope.
13. Man, I think I’m hitting that “second wind” thing my gym coach was talking about.
14. Wait, never mind. I’ve been running down a decline.
15. If I leap to avoid dog shit, does that make me a CrossFit athlete?
16. What the heck is CrossFit anyway?
17. Mental reminder: Google CrossFit when I get home.
18. If I ever get home.
19. OK, I must be halfway done by now.
20. What?! Only two miles in?
21. Alright, stay focused…. What am I going to eat when I get home?
22. I’m running five miles so I should probably eat five slices of pizza. (this is Jan!)
23. I should probably get a side salad too.
24. ….Screw the salad, I can eat more pizza.
25. Man, what are these people doing in front of me? Walking?!
26. Is this a contest to see who the worst at walking is? Because you are both champions in my heart.
27. Maybe if I pound my feet on the ground they’ll hear me coming and let me pass.
28. Oh, God. They didn’t turn around and now I’m right behind them. They’re going to think they’re getting mugged by the world’s sweatiest criminal. (this is me)
29. You know what? Now seems like a good time to run in the street.
30. * Jumps off curb * Parkour!
31. Hey, hey, hey please don’t hit me with your car!
32. Pedestrian pedestrianizing over here let me cross.
33. Thank you, Mr. Blue Honda. I’m trying to smile at you but it probably looks like I’m having a stroke.
34. Actually, I wonder what I look like right now.
35. * Checks out reflection in shop window * Yeesh.
36. Is that what I look like when I run? What am I, a newborn deer with a drinking problem?
37. Whatever, I must be almost done by now.
38. Heck yes. Three miles down, two to go. It’s all downhill from here.
39. Except for that very real uphill in front of me. Damn it.
40. Wait, is that… Is that…
41. A DOG!
42. The owner says the classic line, “Don’t worry, he won’t bite”.
43. …As the dog is nipping my ankles.
44. Isn’t there a leash law in this town?
45. “Come back Snuffy”.
46. “Hey, you, runner, stop, I want my dog back you bastard.”
47. Finally a squirrel shows up. Dog takes off, owner still in pursuit,that only took half a mile.
48. Enough of interval running, must get heart rate back down.
49. Honestly, I don’t even like running.
50. Why do I even run?
51. Why does anyone even run?
52. Why are we even alive?
53. OK, let’s not go down that road.
54. Focus. Focus on that sweet, delicious pizza waiting at the finish line, calling your name with its cheesy breath.
55. Wait, less than one mile to go? I am KILLING this run.
56. I AM THE SWIFTEST GOD OF ALL TWO-LEGGED CREATURES.
57. YES, including ostriches.
58. Honestly, I should sign up for another marathon.
59. It’s only 26 miles, that’s not much more than today’s run.
60. That’s just 13 miles each way, which is practically 10, and 10 is twice five, and I can run five miles EASY.
61. That’s it, I’m doing it. Twenty-six miles.
62. 26 miles, a marathon…wait, a television marathon…The Big Bang marathon.
63. On second thought, I’ll probably just binge-watch every episode of The Big Bang. That takes a lot of dedication and I will be winded from laughing so hard.
64. But I could probably do a marathon IF I wanted.
65. OK, almost home. Should I shower first and order pizza or order pizza and shower before it shows up?
66. Yep, definitely ordering first. I learned that from past experience.
67. Oh, no. Oh god no. Another runner. Should I wave?
68. No, be strong! Do not get burned again.
69. OMG, SHE waved first! Hello! Yes! We are both runners! Look at us run!
70. I guess running’s not so bad.
(adapted from BuzzFeed Sports)
1 comment:
This never fails to make me laugh! Love your version too! :)
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