Running, Biking, Triathlons, Swimming, Snowshoeing; what's next? Sal's does it all.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Thoughts Every Runner Has While Running

1. What a beautiful day for a run!
2. This sucks.
3. Well, five miles is only two and half miles each way, which is basically two miles each way, so I’m really only running four miles. That’s not too far.
4. It’s starting to feel far.
5. How long have I been running? A year? (MW says this all the time).
7. I can barely remember what my life was like before I started this run.
8. OK, concentrate. There are still four-plus miles to go.
9. But who counts the first and last mile? This is pretty much an easy three miler.
10. Oh, shoot! A fellow runner! Should I wave?  I’m totally gonna wave.
11. OK, they didn’t wave back. Never doing that again.
12. Just keep running, no one saw, I hope.
13. Man, I think I’m hitting that “second wind” thing my gym coach was talking about.
14. Wait, never mind. I’ve been running down a decline.
15. If I leap to avoid dog shit, does that make me a CrossFit athlete?
16. What the heck is CrossFit anyway?
17. Mental reminder: Google CrossFit when I get home.
18. If I ever get home.
19. OK, I must be halfway done by now.
20. What?! Only two miles in?
21. Alright, stay focused…. What am I going to eat when I get home?
22. I’m running five miles so I should probably eat five slices of pizza. (this is Jan!)
23. I should probably get a side salad too.
24. ….Screw the salad, I can eat more pizza.
25. Man, what are these people doing in front of me? Walking?!
26. Is this a contest to see who the worst at walking is? Because you are both champions in my heart.
27. Maybe if I pound my feet on the ground they’ll hear me coming and let me pass.
28. Oh, God. They didn’t turn around and now I’m right behind them. They’re going to think they’re getting mugged by the world’s sweatiest criminal. (this is me)
29. You know what? Now seems like a good time to run in the street.
30. * Jumps off curb * Parkour!
31. Hey, hey, hey please don’t hit me with your car!
32. Pedestrian pedestrianizing over here let me cross.
33. Thank you, Mr. Blue Honda. I’m trying to smile at you but it probably looks like I’m having a stroke.
34. Actually, I wonder what I look like right now.
35. * Checks out reflection in shop window * Yeesh.
36. Is that what I look like when I run? What am I, a newborn deer with a drinking problem?
37. Whatever, I must be almost done by now.
38. Heck yes. Three miles down, two to go. It’s all downhill from here.
39. Except for that very real uphill in front of me. Damn it.
40. Wait, is that… Is that…
41. A DOG!
42. The owner says the classic line, “Don’t worry, he won’t bite”.
43. …As the dog is nipping my ankles.
44. Isn’t there a leash law in this town?
45. “Come back Snuffy”.
46. “Hey, you, runner, stop, I want my dog back you bastard.”
47. Finally a squirrel shows up. Dog takes off, owner still in pursuit,that only took half a mile.
48. Enough of interval running, must get heart rate back down.
49. Honestly, I don’t even like running.
50. Why do I even run?
51. Why does anyone even run?
52. Why are we even alive?
53. OK, let’s not go down that road.
54. Focus. Focus on that sweet, delicious pizza waiting at the finish line, calling your name with its cheesy breath.
55. Wait, less than one mile to go? I am KILLING this run.
57. YES, including ostriches.
58. Honestly, I should sign up for another marathon.
59. It’s only 26 miles, that’s not much more than today’s run.
60. That’s just 13 miles each way, which is practically 10, and 10 is twice five, and I can run five miles EASY.
61. That’s it, I’m doing it. Twenty-six miles.
62. 26 miles, a marathon…wait, a television marathon…The Big Bang marathon.
63. On second thought, I’ll probably just binge-watch every episode of The Big Bang. That takes a lot of dedication and I will be winded from laughing so hard.
64. But I could probably do a marathon IF I wanted.
65. OK, almost home. Should I shower first and order pizza or order pizza and shower before it shows up?
66. Yep, definitely ordering first. I learned that from past experience.
67. Oh, no. Oh god no. Another runner. Should I wave?
68. No, be strong! Do not get burned again.
69. OMG, SHE waved first! Hello! Yes! We are both runners! Look at us run!
70. I guess running’s not so bad.

(adapted from BuzzFeed Sports)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

He's All Wet

Wednesday night after running I took a shower. Wednesday morning after biking I took a shower. Tuesday night after swimming lessons (where I got wet) I took a shower. Tuesday afternoon before swimming and getting wet, I ran and…you got it, took a shower.

A Sharpei dog has nothing over my shower created wrinkles. I collect bar soap and body wash coupons on a regular basis. I am the King of male soap couponing. I make sure to combine a store sale with the correct coupon. Right now I have a bar of soap and a bottle of body wash on the tub shelf. On my dresser are six bottles of body wash and the bathroom cupboard has eight bars of soap. These are all for me, I don’t share with Jan. Oh, and let’s not forget the body wash that is in my swimming bag and backpack, just in case. One never knows when an emergency shower situation might come up.

My collection includes Old Spice, because it suits a 50+ year old man and now comes in many scents. For bar soap I’m partial to Irish Spring. When I really feel wild I go for the AXE body wash. AXE makes me feel twenty years younger and Jan can’t keep her hands off me. Well, at least in my dreams she can’t.

Who would have thought training for triathlons would have made me into a soap expert? You’ll have to excuse me, I lifted weights before writing this article and feel the need to get clean. I think it’s an Old Spice night.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Do You Have a Running Problem?

The Office of Health Care Programs at Johns Hopkins University Hospital developed this screening quiz for alcoholics. The word “drinking”  has been replaced with “running.” Take the quiz to find out if you have a running problem.
1.      Do you lose time from work due to running?
2.     Is running making your home life unhappy?
3.     Have you had financial difficulties as a result of running?
4.     Do you run to escape from worries or trouble?
5.     Have you ever been to a hospital on account of running?
6.     Do you crave running at a definite time daily?
7.      Do you run alone?
8.     Do you find it necessary to run with companions every weekend, no matter what their pace?
9.     Have you ever been lost while running trails, and when you realized it, didn’t care?
10.  Has a physician ever treated you for running?

According to the experts at Johns Hopkins University Hospital*, answering “Yes” to even one of these questions is a sign that your running habit is harmful and you may be a run-o-holic. You probably have a serious mental illness, a shopping addiction to Fleet Feet Sports, and a problem with eating carbohydrates 80% of the time.
Seek an evaluation by a licensed healthcare professional as soon as possible. (Massage therapists/therapy, so that you can run more often, don’t count.)

*No one at Johns Hopkins had anything to say on this survey or possible running-related addictions. Yet. (adapted from a poll at the Horse Nation blog, April 2014).

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Fleet Feet Swim Lessons

The rumors are true, Jan and I are taking part in weekly swim lessons through a Fleet Feet training program. The cost, $120 per person, had me thinking twice about registering for the class. We will be able to attend 9 of the 10 sessions, so it comes down to about $13 per lesson, not bad, especially when you can spend a couple of hundred for a weekend of Total Immersion training. I furthered justified this by hoping what I learned would be used over the next 20-30 years of my life while I continue to swim. If so, that takes the cost down to $3 per year, which even a frugal person such as myself can justify spending.

My grandfather swam in area lakes until his mid-late 70's and at the local Y up until 80+. Maybe one or two of his swimming genes are in my body? The genes haven't shown up yet, but after a few lessons let's hope they come out to play. My goal is to become more efficient in the water and spend less energy moving, even if my speed doesn't improve. Jan, an Ironman finisher (once an IM finisher, always an IM finisher, just like the Marines), wants to become more comfortable in the water (and faster - such a competitive person).

Mike Baxter, a local triathlete, is the head coach, with Katie Niebuhr assisting. We have about 26 people in the class and swim from 6:30-7:45 at the Harley School. The first night the coaches had us do a time trial. There are a range of people in the class, all adults, but all sizes and shapes and abilities. Three people are just trying to become comfortable in the pool and did not complete the trial. Nine swimmers did a 50m trial and thirteen of us did a 100m trial. Jan was 3/13 with a 1:34, I was 6/13 with a 1:49 which actually is a pr for me. One of the goals the coaches have for us is to get our final time trial completed at a faster pace.

Last Tuesday we were doing swim drills and Coach Katie came over to the lane I was sharing and said this drill was especially for me! I didn't know she was even watching, not when she had 25 people to instruct. Is it good or bad that Katie can see how pathetic I am from across the pool?

One final note for now. There is a 78 year old man in the class who swam a 1:30 for the 100m time trial. He is prepping for his first triathlon in June. That is the type of person who keeps me inspired to keep moving and learning.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Storm Andrea

Honestly I don't like the Weather Channel feeling the necessity of naming every storm. Hurricanes happen so infrequently and we grew up with that standard it seems okay. But every snowstorm? Ridiculous. So the northeast had a blizzard yesterday. Even the Weather Channel set up shop for the day here with reports near Irondequoit Bay every hour. Storm Vulcan hit with 17+ inches and wind gusts up to 45mph. It was miserable.
But the Weather Channel got the storm name wrong. It should be "Storm Andrea". My daughter Andrea was born March 13. It was midterm week during my senior year of college. She made it tough to study and keep my mind on school. Ever since her birth it seems like we get a storm during this week. Anyone remember the ice storm where we lost power for 7 days? That was March, I was in graduate school. We heated the house with a wood stove and cooked meals on top of it. So much fun.
Oh yeah, Happy Birthday Andrea!

On a related note, MW came up with a new term; Snow Relocation. Perfect.
One nice thing about staying home from work yesterday was being able to go in my basement, put in a Spinerval dvd and ride 31 miles while looking at the warmth of Arizona. That sure beat the 3x I went out and did snow relocation.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Global Warming

Winter in the northeast, as well as many other parts of the country, is not going to end. This morning, March 6, it was -8 in Rochester. That's right, MINUS 8! We have not seen our lawns except for one brief warmup in January. I have a nice base of 15 inches of snow, which apparently from the 10 day futurecast will be sticking around for quite awhile.

A fifteen inch base is what some ski resorts used to like in winters past, not what should be in my lawn on a permanent basis. Where is this thing they call Global Warming? Did a volcano explode in some deep part of the Pacific effecting weather patterns across the United States? Are we back in the "Year Without a Summer"?

People around here are excited because Friday the high temperature might reach 37. We will only be 5 degrees below the normal temperature for this time of year. Oh boy. But don't worry, another cold front is moving in to our area next Wednesday, featuring highs of 22. Don't get out the shorts, singlets and suntan lotion quite yet. This year's Running of the Green five mile race might be run in the white, white snowy roads.

How is the weather in your neck of the woods?